Ode to an old lost love...

Today I dreamt of you... of all the time we spent together... the day you came to my house... the way you used to hide...
Today I dreamt of you... of your voice echoing in the morning... of your eyes... the doors to my sanctuary... of the light on mine...
Today I dreamt of you... and you were back... and you were fine...
Today I dreamt of you... my love... and this pain was no longer needed... and these tears... and this emptiness...
Today I dreamt of you... my darling... of your silent steps... of your children... of your "good morning" every morning... and that I knew it would be good... because of you...
Today I dreamt of you... my child... of your blood... of your ties... of your suffering... and I felt so miserable...
Today I dreamt of you... my angel... please... help me be a better person... so I can see you again... any day... anytime...
Today I dreamt I could die for you... and I did it...
You used to be my love in life... My light in darkness...
You used to guide me... To respect me...
To remind me that no harm is deep enough to take away our souls...
And I'd believe you...
I remember the first time you came to me... I was singing...
But now that you're gone... I've lost my voice...
'Cause I miss the way you gazed into my eyes...
And the entire universe would bend over to you...
You were so powerful, my baby...
You were everything...
For you I had that secret smile... But now it’s gone... together with you...
I dug your grave with my own bare hands...
And I still can't believe you're lying in there...
I'm sorry I couldn't do more...
I'm sorry I couldn't do much...
I'm sorry I lost you...
I'm sorry I had to see you die...
I'm sorry I wasn't by you side...
I'm sorry for every single second of your life I missed... because of work... because of anything...
Please, forgive me...
For I never will...
I need you back my love...
My shining star...
My shining armor...
I need you back...
Know that I'll love you forever...
And now that you're no longer walking the Earth...
I can trust no one but your flesh...
And I'll give her my all...
I'm so sorry...
I meant you no harm...
If ever I knew it'd be for nothing...
You'd have never been put through that suffering again...
I was so afraid of losing you...
And yet I did what I’ve done...
I'm sorry you spent you last days away from me...
But I was in such despair...
They've told me you'd get better...
I had to believe it...
I'll try to be a good girl...
So I can meet you again in Heaven...
WITH ALL OF MY LOVE...
ALWAYS...
YOU'RE MY BABY...
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE...

To you, Bia... my sweet silent angel...
May the light shine upon you... so you'll never get lost...
I've tried to keep up with my promise...
I'm sorry if I couldn't...


*** Luiza - Tom Jobim *** - I used to be her favorite song... the last thing I sang in life...